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Men: Etro vs. Dolce & Gabbana

etro vs. D&G

Runway Men

Men’s fashion has been somewhat of a mystery to most girls. However, I am the exception. I have always been impeccably successful in styling men and telling them what looks good. Let’s be honest. Thousands of men have wiggled their way into women’s fashion, make, clothing, and even posing in women’s fashion shows. So no one should be surprised that I am pushing my way into the depths of designing men’s clothing or predicting their future trends.

According to Ganstalicious, pearls are the next big thing

Now, after getting all that off my chest, I want to start explaining some of the trends that puzzle, upset, and excite me in this season. I want to start with the confusing ones first. I remember watching an episode of the Boondocks a few years back and there was one episode where Gangstalicious was designing clothing. He stated that pearls were the next best thing for men’s fashion and convinced everyone to wear these skorts (shorts that look like a shirt in front) because you could hide your gun under the skirt flap in front. Well, strangely enough, I have seen a lot of clothing similar to that on the runways this year. I have seen wedge shoes for men and pants that resemble leggings paired with oversized shirts that look like mini dresses. In my opinion, wedge shoes are just as ugly on women as they are on men. I am confused because I do not know the aim of the designers and why they would want guys to look so awkward.

J Wanderson
Dresses in men’s runway…really?
Lenny in Rick
Looks like Lenny got into Lady Gaga’s shoe closet

Now on to the trends that just straight-out piss me off. I have literally been seeing these see-through tank tops and shorts that resemble women’s lingerie, mini cape-coats, and dresses with flower prints on male models. Seriously? What sick person would try to push these things on men? If a guy wants to dress like a girl, he should just go buy women’s clothing but men’s clothing should be strictly made for men. These styles look demeaning, inappropriate, and just plain girly. This is exactly why men these days are different from the past. Ladies, if you are trying to make your boyfriend or husband wear this kind of stuff and still expect him to protect you in that dark alley, you are in for a rude awakening. These girly outfits that they are trying to pass off s men’s clothes should not be something in your wardrobe unless you are going to wear it for a Guns N Roses concert (died-out in the early 90’s) or a Halloween party.

Dolce Gabbana
Looks like the kid from Good Fellas gone floral by Dolce & Gabbana

So, after bashing a large portion of in-coming trends for men, let me tell you the ones I like and you should own. Definitely buy yourself a faded leather jacket. Those were big with bands like U2 and will be big this winter. Belts are out since your pants should not be falling down to your knees until 2015. Invest in a good pair of high ankle lace up boots. If you are thin, make sure to tuck your pants into your boots. White T-shirts are timeless so always make sure to have a couple in your closet. It doesn’t hurt to have a plain grey or black T-shirt either. Long beanies are one of the few unisex trends and look good with casual and semi-formal clothing. I was excited when I heard about Dolce and Gabannas last show but became angry after seeing how loose fitting the shirts were. I loved the only styled painting prints and jacquard details, but the necks on the shirts were too wide and looked like something Uncle Vinnie wears while serving spaghetti his dad’s restaurant.

Amazingly unique and well put together outfits and still masculine by Etro

Finally I can tell all you guys out there, before going out and buying any of that creepy see-through bondage styled clothing, the only lines that I will give you my blessings to buy from will be Etro for Men, Zara, some stuff from Forever 21 for Men, and Versace. Even Louis Vuitton’s show looked cheesy as hell. It’s hard to find good men’s fashion these days, but you can’t give up, especially if you are a guy that likes to look good. Good luck in your next purchases.

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